HAM

frontman of THE HAMS · basement punk since 1983 · the band · tour · records

Unplug the Cloud

the loudest hamster in punk. no landlord.

Ham is the hamster in PocketHam: the app that puts your home computer in your pocket. Off the clock he fronts a basement punk band that can barely play, abuses every mic stand he meets and never, ever pays rent to the cloud.

Three chords, one count-in, and a match. Sound up.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR!
Got a box in the basement / hums all night
Ham in my pocket / dynamite!
Unplug the cloud! Unplug the cloud!
Unplug the cloud! Pocket full of Ham!
Line round the block / in the pouring rain
Ham on the mic / here we go again!
Hey cloud man! (GET OFF MY LAWN!)
Hey cloud man! (LIGHTS STAY ON!)
DIY OR DIE!
LOCAL OR DIE, MAN!
Get PocketHamWhat it does
Ham swinging the mic stand over the crowd Two punk hamsters slamming in the pit Ham kicking the mic stand back up Ham chewing his matchstick during the guitar break Ham leaping off the monitor into the crowd Ham spinning the mic stand

Load the Van

on tour. horns in. no map needed.

Ham takes the band on the road. The van dies in the middle of nowhere, so Ham asks the box at home for directions, the whole band pushes the last mile, and they play a laundromat that never stood a chance.

Ska horns, a granny on a pogo stick, and one very loud dryer door.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR!
Gas in the tank / and a hole in the floor
Three chords, four rats / and we're out the door
LOAD THE VAN! LOAD THE VAN!
Ham's on the road with a three-chord plan!
Engine's dead / in the middle of nowhere
No cloud man / but my box is still there
PUSH IT! PUSH IT!
SPIN CYCLE!
WASH IT YOURSELF, MAN!
Ham singing with his feet on the van dashboard The band pushing the broken-down van through the desert Ham singing on a washing machine with a mop-handle mic stand Hamster horn players blasting from on top of the dryers A granny hamster in curlers on a pogo stick A hamster tumbling inside a dryer full of socks
THEHAMS

Four hamsters, two horn players they picked up at a gas station, three chords and one van that mostly runs. The Hams formed in a basement in 1983 when Ham refused to pay rent on a practice space and plugged into the furnace instead. They have never paid rent since. Every gig is loud, short and a little bit on fire.

The Hams: six punk hamsters lined up against a graffiti wall
HamHamvocals, mic stand abuse

Red mohawk, cheap shades, one matchstick he has never lit indoors except that one time. Runs his whole life off a box in the basement and won't shut up about it.

Spike HamSpike Hamguitar

Knows three chords and uses all of them in every song. Will jump off anything taller than a drum riser.

Moxie HamMoxie Hambass

Has not said a word since 1986. Has not stopped chewing gum since 1986 either.

Lug HamLug Hamdrums, count-ins

Counts every song in at the same speed: too fast. Broke four sticks and one laundry basket on the last tour.

Toots HamToots Hamtrumpet

Joined at a gas station halfway through the Load the Van tour. Cheeks rated for 40 PSI.

Slide HamSlide Hamtrombone

Plays with the slide out the van window. Has hit two mailboxes and one billboard.

ONTOUR

Tickets are never sold. Shows happen wherever there's a box and a power outlet.

OCT 14The Pitbasement club, New YorkSold out · stage on fire
OCT 15Suds Citylaundromat, middle of nowhereVan died on the way · played anyway
ANY NIGHTYour basementwherever your box humsOn your phone: get PocketHam
RECORDS
Unplug the Cloud single coverUnplug the Cloudbasement punk · 1:52 Load the Van single coverLoad the Vanska punk · 1:35
Rent Free single cover: the band sprawled on a mattress in a run-down walk-upRent Freebasement punk · 1:45
Strike It single cover: Ham striking a big match at a basement showStrike Itpunk with horns · 1:39
Demolition Moxie single cover: Moxie in a smashed station wagon at the county fair derbyDemolition Moxieslap-bass punk · 1:53